Greetings from Poland!!!

when i was still in the best country in the world, i decided to get a massage at the airport. i felt pretty cool and the massage felt pretty good but this asian broad did something to my neck with her fingernails that no human could actually enjoy. i wanted to say something but i didnt because there was a hot girl sitting next to me getting a facial so i didnt want to seem like a pussy...but i was crying inside.

observations from the plane:
-the evil foreign male flight attendant yelled at me twice when i wudnt get a drink with my meals. i dont know why and i thought you had to be super friendly to be a flight attendant but this guy was just a jerk
-the devil wears prada is better with no sound (anne hathaway is a smokeshow...XTIAN barstoolsports.com wooo wooo)
-ambien changes lives

while sitting in the prague train station waiting for our train to krakow, i felt like i was in purgatory. it was a miserable place to say the least. we passed 5 hours of time watching small pickpocketers target people and go in for the kill. (jeff- i dont know how u spent a semester with those people in prague, granted i was only in the train station but the people there seemed miserable, i also dont know why im writing this because i know you are too lazy to read my blog, DICK). the train ride was miserable. i couldnt get comfortable and i couldnt fall asleep. i put my feet up on the seat and these butch haircutted lesbos yelled at me in some terrible sounding language. it sounded like they were witches casting a spell on me.

we went out when we got into krakow and had a very fun night. the first person i saw there looked exactly like kristen torrey and i thought it was gonna take more than crossing the atlantic ocean to escape her deadly wrath. we went to this tight bar that had a basement that was a dungeon. there were literally trap doors that sketchy polaks kept on disappearing into. oddly enough, people were grind-dancing to spanish techno and american hits such as "california dreamin" by the mammas and the papas.

today we went to the heart of krakow. it is actually a tight city. we went to this castle where there used to be a dragon that ate virgins. yes, it really seemed like people truthfully believe that fable and it weirds me out.

this other dude who is in this program with us is this kid sanjay from buffalo. hes the man and hes like the skipper and ben and i are gilligans. he knows his shit cause his girlfriend is from poland so he kinda leads the way....FOR NOW. hes teaching us polish sayings that are funnily enough the shit borat says. for example, yekshamesh-how are youu (i think) and jinkwiya (or however u spell it)- thank you. sanjay said polaks love when we speak their language but whenever i say anything in polish, the people look at me like im some kind of freak. they also dont say ur welcome back when i say thank you in polish, so fuck em, i aint conforming to their bullshit language.

well thats all for now, work starts tomorrow, hopefully some funny stuff will occur, hope everyone is dandy. mike/dan/pete/berger-drink an extra goombay smash for me in the bahamas.

yours truly,

spencer thomas blye