Alas.....Earwax!!!

*title has no real meaning, i have just been re-reading harry potter 6

as the days grow longer and the clouds become grayer, i am beginning to forget what the sun looks like. it is a distant memory in a clustered mind. i hope that one day, the sun will reappear and life will go on, they was it was intended to. no but for real, its been cloudy for like the past 10 days and the only time you can see the sun is if you are up at 4 am when it rises.

another thing that is kinda weird about poland is how weird people are about crossing the street. even if there is not a single car in sight, people do not walk unless given the walk signal. its weird and monesplye does not conform and abide by these ways. i feel like every time we cross without a signal people shun us and hiss at us as we walk. this one time i even thought i heard a gypsy recite demonic incantations as we walked across the road. we are starting to feel like there is a heavy fine on those who break the rules of crossing the street when not permitted. i had a strange vision of being locked away in a polish dungeon and second guessed crossing this one time.

we only have 3 more days at the alf club and i cant believe i have already been working there for 2 weeks. the days just blend into one long session of watching the kids play tibia, talkin to adam about how aepi should restructure for the future (see video on previous post), playing neanderthal versions of soccer, football and 500, and just lamping with the kids. next week, ben and i are giving a presentation to the kids basically about whatever we want to talk about on american culture. im going to attempt to teach them baseball (ya right!) and talk about the statue of liberty, central park and other new york things. the director of the club claims that parents are going to come listen to us but im pretty sure the elderly gypsys hate americans and would not waste their time listening to monesplye.

i have not seen ocho cinco this entire past week and i am beginning to worry. i fear that his parents or someone else has noticed his exceptional sporting skills and has begun to train him. it looks as if we will be unable to bring him back to the states and make him the next big thing. there is a kid there, damien, no not the tibia master damien who rules the children in the computer realm, but another damien who is a real dweeb. we have begun to notice that every other kid there picks on him and beats his ass. we asked one of the kids why he was trying to drill a soccer ball at damiens face from point blank range and he simply responded "damien ehhh stupid". understood. yesterday, the meal served at the club was cheese perogis. these lil gypsys went batshit crazy over them. moonz said that they must be equivalent to pb&j at that age. they were pretty delicious.

the last i have seen of sanjay and his brother was when we went to this club on tuesday night that was creepily bright. you could see like everything, it was like watching in HD. not good club atmosphere if i may say so myself. sanjays bro, the ladies man he is as mones described in the previous post, hit on the first thing with breasts that came near him. she invited us to come sit with her friends but it turned out that her friends were slightly balding 40-something males hankering for some young american studs. unfortunately, monesplye fit this description and had to flee the club within nanoseconds (not the last time this will happen, keep reading...)

last night got kinda loopy. we went to the market square and hit an array of clubs throughout the night. we started at this place where these promoters, ala jason levine, were standing outside handing out tickets or some shit that we took and just waltzed straight into the club with. i felt like burt reynolds or something. we went to order drinks at this place, and in front of us at the bar was this baller english dude who slightly resembled a member of the weasley family (another harry potter reference, my bad, but def necessary). he was a baller because not only did he hold two beers in his front jean pockets because of the amount of dranks he bought, but also becuase he was buying numerous bottles of expensive champagne. to top it off, JAGERBOMBS. sounds like my kinda guy. we left that bar after a drink or two and set off for one of our favorite destinations, the cien club. we got there only to be told by bitchy girls that it was for members only. when she said that, i held out my arm as if i were showing her that i had a members mark on my hand. she simply scoffed and let in 3 unpopular dudes dressed like the jonas brothers. we went to a few other places and then mones found these two girls that took us from one club to another. as gentlemenly as monesplye is, we bought them drinks and grinddanced with them for a good hour or so. the girl mones was dancing with was one of the hottest dancers ive ever seen. the girl i was dancing with was alright, at least she grinded which we thought was just a myth in these parts. as that came to an end, we went outside the club and these 3 polish dudes came up to us, one of them trying to bet mones that he was from the dirty jerz. he then suddenly whipped out a new jersey license very quickly, kind of covering the picture and started doing a stupid gypsy victory dance. we are pretty sure the license belonged to someone this guy raped and killed a few months back, but who knows. showing the solid judgement that monesplye possesses, we got in a cab with these guys to last open bar in krakow, or so they said. i dont really get what they were talking about because there were still many places open in the main square. i got kinda nervous and thought that i would not be around to write this blog today. when we got out of the cab, thankfully in front of a public place, we went up into a club that gave monesplye the eerie chills of deja vu. something didnt feel right about this place and it turned out to be the very same, very gay bar that those broads from work took us to. we quickly "had to use the bathroom" and got out of that place as fast as we could. the club is called Kitsch, just in case you were wondering jesse...

thats it for now. i wanted to give another very special shout out to katie desimone. using her cunning wits and einstein-like brain power, she noticed that i said mexican pan flute bands in my last post when i should have said PERUVIAN pan flute bands. i apologize to all of my readers and especially katie, without her this blog would be a complete disaster.

-splye-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai