Three Weeks In...

so at this point we are not sure if anyone is reading this blog, but if you are, what up? I guess we are also keeping this to remember shit that happened, because as of right now it all seems like one long day.

We've been in Poland for a little more than two weeks, and we are getting a bit tired of the place. It probably stems from being in this got damn hostel for so long. If you've ever been in a hostel, imagine what yours was like and make it about 10x worse. It's a combination of a tiny room with three shitty beds, a weird siren every hour, and windows that we have to put blankets over because it gets so light in the morning. At this point we've seen all the museums in krakow, all the historic sights, and walked along every scenic route that makes this place famous. We realizedthat all there is to do here is eat, booze heavily and post up on the river. While we are experts at heavy boozing (especially somewhere where beer is cheaper than water), it gets kind of repetitive. needless to say, we are ready for a change of scenery (which is coming in a week when we get to florence).

The Alf Klub hasn't changed much. As Splye noted, ocho cinco is gone, so there goes my fortune. Today was weird, Arachnid was not on his computer at all! MoneSplye is very unsure of how to explain this phenomenon, he is literally a different person. The hot blonde who is supposed to be working with us has still not shown up. Chance she doesn't exist: 98.7%. Tomorrow we have to do cultural presentations about America in front of the WHOLE SCHOOL. We are not sure what to expect. The leader of the Alf Klub told us that there would be "media and tv cameras" there, but we were told by the other counselors that he tells everyone that just to make sure they don't dick around on the presentation. Also, they don't have tv cameras here. Still, we don't really know what the deal is. I decided I'm going to talk about Oregon, the Blazers, Basketball, Philly Cheesesteaks, roasting pigs, and my family. My visual aid is a piece of construction paper with shit like crater lake, a picture of Brandon Roy, and a pic of my fam glued on various parts of it. We will definitely let you know what goes down with the presentation.

A few things that I have noticed that are totally different in Poland than in the US:
1. Instead of parking cars on the street, next to the curb, the cars are parked on the sidewalks. They have to leave 4m of walking space on the sidewalks, or they get a fine. After I saw this, I got philosophical. Were these still sidewalks? Weren't they more parking spots with walking zones? What's the point of nipples on dudes?

2. They mixed up their condiments, and what type of spice goes where and when. I wanted to blog about this after something that happened last night. I went out to dinner by myself because Splye wanted to watch the Mets play the Nationals on MLB.com. So I ventured out by myself and ended up in Kazimierz, the Jewish district. I sat down by myself at this outdoor cafe and ordered a beer and some chicken with spinach. At the table next to me was a group of 40-50 year old men and women getting fucked up. I don't mean they were like lightly drinking beers and wine. This was Sunday, 8pm. These people were ordering shots of vodka, tequila, rum an cokes, mojitos, beer, and some weird alcohol I had never seen before. Eventually they saw that I was alone, and invited me to take a shot with them. So I was like, "aiiiight whatever" and I did a tequila shot with them. When the waitress brought out shots of tequila, she brought it out with an orange slice and a little mound of cinammon. What the fuck? Not wanting to seem like a pussy in front of these european lushes, I took the shot with the cinammon and orange, and it was kinda bomb. Write that down, cinammon and orange with tequila. Also, in my time here I've noticed they put mayonaise on kielbasa, lard on bread, and bleach in red wine.

3. I forgot to tell you guys about this from the other night when I went out alone with Sanjay and his bro. If you've ever been in a foreign country, you know therez always locals peddling their wares. Sometimes, these wares are legal. By that I reference the gypsies here who sell blankets, bootleg copies of Walker Texas Ranger, and stolen tears. But there are also the illegal wares that locals sell. Perhaps you've noticed this if you've been to Mexico on Spring Break. There you are chilling on the beach with a Miami Vice in your left hand, and here comes a leathery skinned mexican, carrying a bunch of shit on his back and in his arms. As he walks by, he shoves the goods in your face, "Bracelet, blanket, henna tattoo, kite, name on a grain of rice?" Yet sometimes, if the guy thinks he reads you right he'll say, "Blanket, kite, henna tattoo, mota, yayo? I got you buddy." That always makes me laugh hysterically. Basically they try and sell you drugs on the beach and be covert about it, but as my dad taught me, never buy drugs in a foreign country because there is no such thing as entrapment. Back to Krakow two nights ago: So I'm walking back along a shady street where I guess there are a bunch of strip clubs. There are guys standing at the doors to these places saying things like "Brothel?" "Sex with girl" "You want two girls?" The idea is to keep walking, because you don't want to get sucked into that world and end up blowing lines of gunpowder and coke off a post-op strippers thong in southern bangkok. But as we got to the end of the line, something caught my ear. I could have swore I heard some guy say "You want girl in one boot with blender?" What? What was that? A girl in one boot with a blender? Immediately I imagined some smokin hot chick standing in one boot blending smoothies doing erotic dances. Maybe she had a broken leg, and had to wear a boot that looked like a blender? I eventually realized that the guy either didn't speak English and was trying to say something totally different, or it really was something that I didn't want to be a part of. I'll never know what this one boot blender girl looked like, I'll let you be the judge of what he was saying.

we gotta wake up early for the presentation, so we are chillin tonight. until later, amigos.

-Ben M1s