So the end of our eurotrip has finally come. We have spent the past three nights in Prague and are leaving tomorrow morning to go back to the great Republic of the United States. I can't believe we have been gone for so long, it feels like only yesterday I was in Krakow, making it rain zloty and changing kid's lives. But prague has been pretty ridiculous. The weather here is exactly how I pictured it--dreary and cloudy from sun up to sundown. It's basically communist weather, that's what you get for not making baseball your national past time and eating tree roots instead of doritos. Other than the weather, shit here is pretty dope. The currency is kind of fucked up, its about 20-1 on the dollar, so we end up dropping like $875 on a dinner for three of us. It kind of feels like monopoly money, and it also kind of feels like we are huge bosses throwing around paper. The money here is called Korona's, but we call it either Rupees or Goulashes. It flows better. It also seems like nothing here is illegal. As soon as we stepped out of our hostel (at 3pm on monday), some dude in a medieval jester's outfit asked us if we wanted "sex and striptease." We normally never turn down such offers from people in medieval outfits, but we had a city to explore.
The first night began with a visit to the famed "Beer Factory," where you can go and basically serve yourself beer. Everyone who has been to prague told us we should hit this spot up, so we did. We ended up getting pretty banged up at this place--we met girls from Germany and Russia who loved that we were American. One German broad kept telling me, "Oooh America, I love San Diego, it's a great lifestyle!" I've never been to Whale's Vagina, but I pretended that I had. Tom was seshing conversation with these Russian broads who didn't speak a lick of english. One asked him to dance and then outgrinded him in 45 seconds tops. He tried speaking spanish to them, but that shit doesn't work in the czech republic. We got a bit saucy and then went to this other bar where we basically posted up until the wee hours. Everybody was smoking trees in the bar and I felt like I was in a 50 cent video. The dj was playing hip hop so MoneSplye + Tom hotboyed on the velvet couches, orchestrating the crowd. My favorite mash up the dj played was when he mixed Party Up by DMX with Ride Wit' Me by Nelly. We ended the night back our hostel with some serious pillow talk and honest confessions.
The next day in Prague was legit. We walked around and saw the sights and it basically reminded us a lot of Krakow. A lot of really old buildings, winding streets, and unfriendly eastern europeans. We stumbled into this weird park where we saw an enormous peacock and a sleeping homeless guy. We sat around in the park for a few hours, tossing miniature apples at a small garbage can from 40 ft., and basically were lamp-nation. We wandered around the city some more, bought some gummi bears (oh word?), and then came back and napped. A hilarious night ensued.
We started off at an Absinthe bar that was right across the street from a club we were going to hit up. This woman basically lit some alcohol and sugar on fire and left our table. I thought I was going to take the shot of absinthe and have a Eurotrip experience with it, but it was basically like normal alcohol. Except burningly hot. Splye wasn't so keen on the 'sinthe, but his reaction to it was pretty hilarious. Anyway, we got banged up that night at the bar where Tom was being junior year Tom. Splye was killin it with these czech broads, and did some ill grind dancing. Tom got BO'd and started asking this girl why her "culture was so depressing" and saying "totally" every third word. We got our swerve on and danced til the early hours again. Our night ended as the sun came up with little left intact but our dignity--except not.
We woke up and decided to walk to the Prague castle and saw more European wonders. At this point we have been travelling for so long that shit all seems the same. I guess I'm over travelled, but I'm definitely ready to come home. We went to a baller dinner tonight, threw back some wine and chicken and reminisced about the trip. It's been a great time, catching up with Tom was legit and travelling has been even more fun. I'm glad I kept this blog, I'm going to do a wrap up post when I get home tomorrow or the next day. A lot of hilarious shit has happened that we can't really remember, but it's been enjoyable none the less. Until next time, stay strapped...
does anybody get the title of this post?
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