Professor Monesplye: Class is in Session!

hey guys! whats REALLY good?

life here across the pond is coming along and monesplye only has 5 more days in cracovia. woopie! i really enjoy this city and am having a great time, but we have done all there is to do here and a consensus vote has been taken and monesplye is ready to part ways from the gypsys and meet up with none other than senjor thom. for those of you who do not know tommy aulet, he is as all-american as you can quite possibly be. but living in seville for a year may have changed him and i guess well see. im confident that he will still go buckwild over steak and buttered noodles and red sox t-shirt jerseys.

tonight monesplye decided to splurge and hit up a really trendy italian restaurant. probably our most expensive meal here to date, it costed us 192 zlotte combined, which roughly comes out to 33 dollars (US dollars, aka real money) per person. we got a lovely bottle of the house wine which went adoringly well with my beef carpaccio appetizer. to top it off, it complimented my mixed seafood platter flawlessy leaving a breathtakingly smooth after taste. exquisite, simply exquisite.

but after our meal, things went sour. the event that followed was one of the biggest disappointments of my trip so far. as some of you know, i am a huge supporter of the lord of the rings series. for those of you who did not know that, dont talk shit, and if you do, BACK OFFF. in a recent article i read in esquire magazine, megan fox said she loves lord of the rings and knows the name of gandalf's horse off the top of her head. me too, its shadowfax. so maybe that will change your hippie perspective on one of the greatest trilogies ever (im not a nerd). so apparently there is a lord of the rings themed bar here in krakow and i made mones find it and go there with me. i also made him bring his camera so that i could make a detailed photoshoot to capture the experience. but when we got into the bar, things did not go as planned. it basically had one picture on the wall that said middle earth and that was it. excruciatingly disappointing. it gave me the pit in the stomach feeling i got when christy tompkins never showed up to my 3rd grade bowling party. c'est la vie.

as our loyal blog followers were aware of, monesplye had his presentation on his life in america today at the elementary school where we volunteer at. when we got there, we did not really know what to expect. we walked into a classroom and set up like 20 chairs for our crowd. who was coming to watch? nobody knew and our coordinator, pan anjay, who doesnt speak a freaking word of english obviously didnt say shit to us. but monesplye came prepared for whatever would be fired our way and it turned out about 60 students came into this classroom to listen to us. this girl veida was our translator and we basically had to talk really slow and simple to accomodate her and not the young children. there were many times throughout the presentation that veida had to be corrected by little polish kids whom i was lead to believe could not even tie their own shoes. mones, the bold warrior he is, went first and spoke about things such as portland, his family, basketball, vanderbilt (what what) and pig roasting. i then followed with a brilliant lecture about cool things about nyc such as the statue of liberty and central park. i then tried to teach the kids about baseball and i am confident in saying that these children now know what happens when the ball is hit into the stands where the people sit for the games. it was really funny, when they saw the picture of the statue of liberty on my poster, they all gasped like there was a sensational fireworks show. it was kind of interesting though to see how much these kids want to go to america. def struck a cord.

when we finished our presentation, the kids gave us a huge ovation. it kinda felt like kappa kappa gala all over again. when monesplye left the classroom after all the kids went off after the show, we walked out and were instantly treated like celebrities. i kind of felt like the beatles when we walked through the hallways because little polish girls were screaming and crying while reaching out to touch us. i even saw this one girl rip this other girls pony tail off just so that she could be in our line of sight. no but serially, every kid wanted a piece of monesplye. obama aint got shit on us. on this day, monesplye=n'sync-the gay astronaut dude x burt reynolds. the priest of the school watched our presentation and came up to us afterwards saying that he loves nba basketball and that there were many russians in the nba. ya thanks pal, we know, we are americans. but then something really weird happened. he told our translator something in gibberish and she looked at mones oddly and told him that the guy wanted him to join the priesthood. it was truly bizarre. we have no idea why. maybe its cause hes tall, or maybe cause this guy wanted to bang mones. i guess well never know. he asked us where we were staying and instead of trying to communicate with him verbally, i just gave him the card of our hostel. an action i truly regretted instantly. he said he wanted to visit us or some shit. YIKES. mones said hes sleeping with ducktape on his butt tonight just in case.

one more funny thing i wanted to tell you. we take the bus to work everyday, and when you get outside of the city limits and into the countryside, there are not too many establishments in that area. there is one bus stop that we decided to call the "field of dreams" stop because it literally gets off at a path that curves up a hill and into a little forest. i think most of you devoted blog followers can guess what i am going to say lives up there. everybody on three, 1......2.......3......GYPSYS. cooorrreect. i knew you had it in you. those who said cave goblins, ill give you the benefit of the doubt.

well thats it for now. i foresee myself only making one more post here in krakow, but dont worry, the hostels we have lined up in florence, interlaken, munich and prague all have free wifi.

<3 spencer