What up world? Shit has gotten radically different since we last spoke. We bounced out of Poland, and are now touring western Europe. You might have noticed that the quality of the blog has gone a bit downhill in the past few weeks. Quite simply, we got very bored of Krakow--partially because we lived in a hostel for 22 DAYS, partially because a daily diet of sausage, vodka and stale bread numbs the mind. Don't fear, the quality of the blog is about to sky rocket, partially because of the arrival of.....FAT TOM.
We met fat tom in the florence train station, where he took a picture of us as we got off the train. funny because we were going to do the same thing, but he beat us to the punch. We haven't seen Tom since he came to visit school last year, and he remains mostly the same after a year in spain. The only major differences are that he drinks expresso (for real), he has lost command of the english language, and wears cardigans. But we brought him back to earth with (according to him) our "dry wit and jewish humor." Anyway, the trip has started off with a bang to say the least. We got a little saucy with a bottle of wine and some beers and we hit florence. We walked around and eventually stumbled into this restaurant, which was bomb as hell. This puerto rican dude was kind of our waiter and we decided to ask him what bars to go to, since none of us had really spent time in florence before. Suprisingly enough he told us to just wait for him to get off work and he would roll with us out. Last time we followed random dudes to bars, MoneSplye ended up at a gay bar with three dudes. But this was a different country, so we rolled the dice. So the guy basically returns in this weird vest, holman-esque jean shorts and a fedora. He got us free shots from the bar next to the restaurant, and we were off. He takes us to this hip hop bar called YAB, which stands for You Are Beautiful (what?) and gets us past the bouncers in a way that JLevine would envy. We did the following things:
1. We partied with Tony Gonzales, soon to be Atlanta Falcon. I told him he was a legend and he took a picture with us. He was the man, it's cool to see NFL players dancing like retards in the club and gettin buck.
2. We encountered a group of girls and dudes from Vanderbilt, doing some study abroad program. We knew a few of them and grind danced a little bit before they left. We seshed a few tails and showed off our newly acquired European swagger. Tom led the pack, the graduate who was "just helpin the kids" in Spain.
3. Got swindled.
The entire time this puerto rican dude, Mark Anthony was following us around. He was literally our roll dog, he kept trying to find us girls and get f'd up with us. The night ended as we walked back to our hotel late night. He kept sayin things like, "I got a son, but you know I keep it real" Then he showed us these pornos he made on his phone. of him. that got really graphic. we all silently looked at eachother with what the fuck written across our face. Anyway, he gave us his business card, which was just a puerto rican flag with his name and number. it made me realize i should get a business card with my name and the American flag, i'd get mad jobs and womens. End night 1 in Florence. Great Success.
The second night in florence was even better. We ended up going out to Spencer's family friend's house in the Tuscan countryside. We were scheduled to have dinner with this woman at her house, and she supposedly was a notoriously good cook. Driving out of the city in her son's Mini, I imagined a sprawling Tuscan mansion surrounded by a huge property. I imagined a luscious garden with olive trees and various flowers--there would also be a sick pool and a tennis court. I couldn't have been more right in my assumptions. This house was ballin--it was built in the 14th century or some shit and looked like an ill museum on the inside. Only pictures could do it justice. We had an incredible dinner of florentine steak, sausage, ribs, pasta, salad and four bottles of red wine. One of her sons spoke good english, so there was interesting conversation to draw out the dinner. Tom kept speaking SPanish and picking up random italian so he was able to laugh at their jokes. Me and splye didnt really understand shit, so we werent able to keep up but whatever. tom probably had no idea what they were saying--he was just giddy to be with Americans again.
Anyway, we are chillin in Interlaken now. it's a postcard beautiful everywhere you look. The alps are dank nugs to say the least. Catching up with tom is fun, we rehashed some old southpark and made fun of eachother about ladies, drinking, and frat shit.
I gotta go drink more vodka and orange soda--the standard drink of this trip. stay tuned for a guest post by tom...
BM
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